The Importance of Saying No

We are constantly being told to ‘say yes more’ and to embrace every opportunity that life throws at us. In fact, there is even a popular book and a popular film called Yes Man which is all about saying yes to things and living life more fully as a result. And this is a very nice idea in theory. In practice though? It is actually commonly counterproductive and can even ended up being destructive. Keep reading to learn the importance of saying no.

The Problem With Always Saying Yes

In books like Yes Man, the main character finds himself accepting all kinds of exciting opportunities. Such as going on adventures, meeting new people and learning new skills. That would be nice – but in reality it is often not how these things pan out. Instead, we find ourselves saying yes more often and ultimately that just means that we get involved in too many activities without ever feeling fulfilled. The result? We get very tired, we spend lots of money and we have less time to spend doing the things we truly love.

The Power of No

This is where saying ‘no’ comes in. The problem is that saying ‘yes’ to one thing, ultimately is the same as saying ‘no’ to another. Saying ‘yes’ actually limits your options more than saying no! When you say yes to a night out for instance, you are actually saying no to a night in – and to a different night out. When you say ‘yes’ to helping someone move, you actually say ‘no’ to working out that evening, or spending time on your new side business.

Now, I’m not going to pretend that this is all really easy. The problem is that many of us feel compelled to say yes to people and that we are letting our friends down if we say no. This is a point of view that needs to change. While there are some situations where saying yes is the kind and helpful thing to do, we are in no way obligated to always say yes. What’s more, we should not find ourselves feeling guilty for saying no.

The secret is simply to make sure that you know what your priorities are and that you have a reason to say no. In other words, don’t say ‘no’ and then just watch TV – say ‘no’ and then use the time the way you want to.  And there’s a balance to be struck here too. The simple solution? Treat your solo activities with the respect they deserve. Book them into your calendar and then treat them like any other indelible appointment!

The Importance of Saying No

When we say no we are free to choose where we put our time and energy. This allows us to be more honest and authentic with others, without compromising our values and standards. This allows us also to set clear and consistent boundaries in our relationships with others.

The Bottom Line

We’re constantly being told to ‘say yes more’ and to embrace every opportunity that life throws at us. In fact, there is even a popular book and a popular film called Yes Man which is all about saying yes to things and living life more fully as a result. This theory however is actually commonly counterproductive and can even end up being destructive.

Saying no first starts with knowing yourself, and knowing your values and beliefs.   Once you have that clear understanding then you evaluate situations as they come at you and you decide what you give your time and energy to.

So begin today to master the power to just say no.  Choose instead to participate in activities that brings you joy and fulfilment.

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